I thought I was done with experiences. I only have two children; how many things like these will they go through.
My daughter started dating a young man about a year ago. He was nice and respectful. Once they had been dating for a bit, he let her know that he had problems with porn and was working through these issues with his bishop. We thought that must have been very hard for him to come out and tell and we felt sorry for this young man and what he must be going through. My daughter still decided to date him and wanted to be friends. After high school my daughter decided to move away to a school that is only about 30 minutes away. This young man hasn’t gone on a mission and instead has been going to the local university. He has always told her his plan was to go to school for a year and then go on a mission.
Finals were last week and a couple hours before one of her finals he called her and broke up with her. He said that he needed to prepare for his mission and she wasn’t helping him. He told her if he didn’t go on a mission that it would be her fault. Wait? What? Yes, I heard that right. I guess a few nights before he was texting her and was telling her where he wanted to kiss her; somewhere where nobody would know. Ok? Really? Well, I am glad my daughter is open with her parents and willing to share these things with us. I guess, during this conversation, my daughter didn’t tell him to stop texting stuff like that and so he decided that if he couldn’t go on a mission it was her fault. Well, I am sure she didn’t know what to say to something like that. Where did that come from? He is still texting my daughter and she says she still wants to be his friend. Well, he now says they can still do stuff together, like they have been planning, such as going to a basketball game or to the temple; they just can’t drive there together and must take separate cars. He is worried that my daughter will jump him in the car or something? He said his parents were worried at first that they shouldn’t do things together, but now are fine if they drive separately. Our parenting views have been to keep communication open but also know that he the kids want to do something, then no matter the rules you put in place, they will figure out a way to do it.
I trust my daughter and her decisions. However, I did tell her that missions are a stressful thing and maybe it would be better for her just to let him be and prepare and go on his mission. I guess one day, when texting, he asked my daughter if she had told her bishop. She said, “No, I didn’t do anything wrong.” I am upset that he would put the blame of anything he does on someone else. No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do. Be responsible for your own actions. I am also upset that he did this right before her finals. Now of course, his response was that if she failed, it wasn't his fault.
My daughter started dating a young man about a year ago. He was nice and respectful. Once they had been dating for a bit, he let her know that he had problems with porn and was working through these issues with his bishop. We thought that must have been very hard for him to come out and tell and we felt sorry for this young man and what he must be going through. My daughter still decided to date him and wanted to be friends. After high school my daughter decided to move away to a school that is only about 30 minutes away. This young man hasn’t gone on a mission and instead has been going to the local university. He has always told her his plan was to go to school for a year and then go on a mission.
Finals were last week and a couple hours before one of her finals he called her and broke up with her. He said that he needed to prepare for his mission and she wasn’t helping him. He told her if he didn’t go on a mission that it would be her fault. Wait? What? Yes, I heard that right. I guess a few nights before he was texting her and was telling her where he wanted to kiss her; somewhere where nobody would know. Ok? Really? Well, I am glad my daughter is open with her parents and willing to share these things with us. I guess, during this conversation, my daughter didn’t tell him to stop texting stuff like that and so he decided that if he couldn’t go on a mission it was her fault. Well, I am sure she didn’t know what to say to something like that. Where did that come from? He is still texting my daughter and she says she still wants to be his friend. Well, he now says they can still do stuff together, like they have been planning, such as going to a basketball game or to the temple; they just can’t drive there together and must take separate cars. He is worried that my daughter will jump him in the car or something? He said his parents were worried at first that they shouldn’t do things together, but now are fine if they drive separately. Our parenting views have been to keep communication open but also know that he the kids want to do something, then no matter the rules you put in place, they will figure out a way to do it.
I trust my daughter and her decisions. However, I did tell her that missions are a stressful thing and maybe it would be better for her just to let him be and prepare and go on his mission. I guess one day, when texting, he asked my daughter if she had told her bishop. She said, “No, I didn’t do anything wrong.” I am upset that he would put the blame of anything he does on someone else. No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do. Be responsible for your own actions. I am also upset that he did this right before her finals. Now of course, his response was that if she failed, it wasn't his fault.
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