Friends

Are there really true friends today? In elementary school, I was friends with some of the kids in the neighborhood as well as a few more that we always seemed to have the same teacher. This wasn't maybe the best crowd, but we still did ok. In middle school, things changed. It started by just eating lunch with some kids that I knew from my elementary school and some of their friends from their ward. Some how one of these other kids and I became good friends. Even though we went to the same elementary school and lived in the same stake, we really didn't know each other before. We both had a kid in some of our classes and he kind of just joined us during that first year. Over the next few years during middle and high school, a couple others kids one of us knew would become part of our group. By the time I graduated I had 9 close friends. One was in my stake. Two were in another stake. Two more were in the same ward. And the final four were within a few houses of each other (they actually went to a different high school). During high school we all went to the activities together and hung out on the weekends. Sometimes a couple would go off and do something, but it wasn't meant to exclude others, it just happened. None of these kids were in my ward. All of us went on missions and have married in the temple. We had our little "spats" every once in awhile, but we were really good friends and had each others backs. Since marriage, we haven't stayed in great contact. I know where they all are and still think about them and hope things are well. I sometime run into some at stores or around and then I see them now during weddings and things.

Hearing stories now, this wasn't the normal case for a lot of people that grew up around the same time as me. But I think it is drastically uncommon in today's world. I don't know if it is social media thing, the over abundance or entertainment options or just all the technological advancements of our day; but I am not sure if youth today know what it means to be a real friend. I am not even sure adults have real friends outside of their spouse. A real friend to me is someone that is there for you. They want to be around you. They want to know what is going on. If they have something special happening, they want you to celebrate with them. They want to listen to your sorrows. And they want to make you happy.

Today's friend seems to want you around when they don't have other plans. Today's friend wants to be seen with you or anybody actually (so they can post it). Today's friend wants to keep in contact with you just so they are not the one that broke the "streak".

My kids seemed to do well in elementary school. Each of them had a few different groups they would hangout with during different years. In middle school, my son didn't latch on to many friends. He had people on his football team that he got along with, but that was just during the season. And if you know anything about little league football, there really isn't too much time for anything else outside of football and school. But after the season ended, he kind of just hung out at home. During high school it was a bit different, but nothing really substantial. My daughter in middle school and the first year of high school had a friend and they did everything together; from school to church to dance to just hanging out. I was worried because it seemed like it was always just them. I worried about the other girls in the neighborhood and in our ward, and if my daughter was leaving them out. In high school things started to change. Her friend did drill team one year. But really, she also seemed to ignore her when other people were around or not invite her to do things. It was just weird. Now they don't speak to each other at all.

When I heard about the Church changing Home Teaching and Visiting Teaching to the new Ministering program it sounded interesting. The more I work through it, it feels like they are helping us learn what true friendship is. They want you to "know" the family. They want you to celebrate with them. They want you to be there when they have sorrows. I haven't been as good as I should in these, but I feel that the structure is there to actually make a difference in a families life.

Comments